


Down Memory Lane

by innerfangirl



Series: Update Me Maybe [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Psych
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Shawn Spencer, Dark for Psych, Don't copy to another site, Female Shawn Spencer, Gus and Shawn will always be friends, I will add more as I continue, Secret Identity, Serial Killer, Shawn Whump, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-10 03:28:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20128609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innerfangirl/pseuds/innerfangirl
Summary: In one universe, Henry and Madeline Spencer give birth to a healthy baby boy. In another they gave birth to a healthy baby girl.Both universes had S. Spencer opening a Psychic consulting agency with Gus.Both universes had everyone finding out that they were not psychic in ways outside of their control. Both universes had S. Spencer’s with secrets that couldn’t quite stay secrets.When a copycat serial killer starts targeting people who put the original killer behind bars, Shan Spencer has to face what will happen when the secrets of her past start meeting her present.





	1. Another Universe

In one universe, Henry and Madeline Spencer give birth to a healthy baby boy. Henry just managed to solve a case and arrive at the hospital in time for his son to be born. Shawn Spencer was welcomed to a tired mother and three police officers peering curiously at him. 

In another universe, Henry was called to a new case right after receiving a call from his wife that she was in labor. Madeline gave birth surrounded by nurses instead of family and was physically and emotionally exhausted by the time the Spencer baby was born. Her child was put into her arms and birth records were filled out in a hazy blur. 

There wasn't any family there to challenge the name and the nurses had long since learned that you did not want to pester a new mother on her child’s name. So with all of the authority that a slurred “it’s spelled the normal way” carried, the healthy baby girl was named Shan Spencer for all legal purposes. 

In all universes Burton Guster and S. Spencer become inseparable friends. 

In both universes, Henry Spencer taught his child how to become the best detective possible. Baby Spencer had an eidetic memory and all of their father’s games honed it to make sure that everything was noticed. 

Shawn hated the “games”. He saw them as yet another way of Henry controlling him, molding him into the kind of person that was everything Shawn wasn’t. He rebelled against the idea of being a detective. He rebelled against the idea of following his father’s footsteps. He rebelled against everything that his father stood for and swore to Gus over twizzlers and pineapple gummy bears to never be a part of the police force. 

Shan never made up her mind about the “games”. Henry had never figured out what to do with a daughter and was usually awkward in showing her that he cared. It was only when he was training her that she was able to see that he was trying _so hard_. She didn’t particularly like the “games”- they were too repetitive and easy to be anything really but boring-, but she did love her father. 

Shan never really rebelled against being a detective. She insisted that she didn’t want to be in the police force to her father whenever he tried a little too hard to make her the best detective. She knew that Henry loved her, but also knew that if she didn’t push back he would forget that she had her own ideas and dreams. 

It was when she was fourteen years old that she got the closest to swearing off the force entirely. But then there was a man with roaming hands and a lack of understanding what _no_or _age of consent_meant. 

So she fought like the wild thing that her uncle had always called her to be. She bit and scratched and kicked and punched, but he didn’t seem to register anything. Then he was gone and she was left leaning against the wall of a park bathroom as a familiar detective slammed him into a sink and listed off his rights. 

“You okay, Spencer?” Detective Vick asked her. Shan nodded, quickly fixing her clothes and reapplying her blue lipstick. 

(Several of the drag queens that were usually in the precinct had become fond of Shan after all the times that she had to go to work with her dad when her mom was busy. They had taught her how to pick-pocket new cops and cause distractions that seemed natural. One night they taught her how to apply make-up like armor and lipstick of a striking color was always an essential element.)

The detective studied her a second longer before nodding. “Get in the car and I’ll drive you to the station. You need to make a report.” They both ignored the man’s protests and rationalizations. 

Shan sent a brief text to Gus saying that she was going to miss lunch and went to the station. 

(After that she knew she was going to be a cop. And that she was taking up kick boxing. 

She even managed to drag Gus along to the first few lessons by laying out her plan to fight any aliens she came into contact with before they stole all of the pineapple. She was lucky to have a friend that appreciated the golden god as much as she did).

In one universe, Shawn was sixteen when his parents got divorced. He stayed living with his dad but made it clear that he sided with his mother. HIs mother hugged him tightly when she left but gave no explanation beyond vague comments.

In another universe, Shan was barely thirteen when her parents got divorced. Her mother left in the middle of a school day; Shan came home to a note explaining absolutely nothing in place of her mother. Henry came home that night to Shan reading it for the hundredth time. 

She handed it to him and slipped out the front door for Gus’s house.

In one universe, Shawn left home the night before he graduated. He drove out of town with the moon at his back and didn’t stop until he was long out of the state. The next decade was filled with working odd jobs and meeting people all over the world.

He sent postcards from the cities he went to; sometimes collecting dozens of postcards before finding a post office that worked internationally. Henry collected each one and put it in a box with the rest, but would never mention it to his son. Gus hung them all over his dorm rooms and later apartments. He mentioned it to Shawn after the other man had called him from the roof of a skyscraper in Hong Kong and after that Shawn had taken to writing even more absurd stories on the cards. 

Gus was never 100% sure if the stories were false or not. (It was hard to tell with Shawn).

In another universe, Shan graduated early but didn’t tell anyone. She went to work at a smoothie cafe instead of school. It worked for three months before Henry found out and showed up at her job to drag her back home. 

For years later Henry would regret his actions. 

For years later Shan would become furious at the lack of trust her father had showed her. 

They had argued, getting as close to physical blows that they ever had. Henry accused her of dropping out of school and throwing away her future. Shan accused him of doubting her intelligence and doubting _her_. Each screamed at the other and pulled the most hurtful comments they could think of. 

She had stormed out with the door slamming behind her. Her bike wasn’t starting so she had moved to Henry’s truck and sped away in the truck. Two hours later she was sitting in a jail cell, watching her (ex)boyfriend walk out without charges pressed and hearing her father tell her that she was going to be charged for grand theft auto. 

A week later she blew a kiss to Gus and sped away on her bike to wherever she would get before her full tank of gas ran out. 

Shan worked different jobs and met different people. She sent postcards back home (two copies sent to Gus with the silent understanding that one would be given to Henry. Gus always followed through but often gave the half-hearted complaint of stubborn Spencers). 

By his twenty-first birthday he had been traveling for nearly three years. Shawn was loving the adventures, loving the thrill of landing somewhere new with no expectations. He was still in the early days of the traveling, still barely ten states in on a tour to see all fifty. It would have been twelve, but he had had the chance to travel photographing Europe with a gorgeous brunette and had eagerly put a pause on his plans. 

By her twentieth birthday she had been traveling for nearly three years. Shan was loving the adventures, and not quite ready to go back to Santa Barbara but more than ready to chase of dream of detective again. She took a course on criminology at an online college, then attended a lecture from the FBI, then found herself showing off moves from her kickboxing classes and running tests that were once again disguised as “games”.

In both universes Gus went home on his 25th birthday to have his S. Spencer in his apartment. 

The day after his birthday Gus would wake up with glitter, paint, sand, and confetti all over his skin and clothes and multiple slips of paper with phone numbers stuffed into his pockets. A note from Shawn was on the table, complete with a Santa Barbara postcard, telling him that he would be back next year. 

The day after his birthday Gus would wake up with glitter, paint, sand, and confetti all over his skin and clothes and multiple slips of paper with phone numbers stuffed into his pockets. Shan was still sleeping beside him, clearly having taken a shower before she fell asleep that morning. She would stay living in his apartment for a month before she could find one of her own and neither would mention telling Henry she was back. He would only find out three months after she had returned when he got a call from friends still working at the police force questioning why he hadn’t mentioned that Shan was psychic before. 

(Much later Shan would go to her childhood house. Henry would be there- Gus would forever deny telling him that he should stay home instead of fishing that weekend. They would hug and show more emotion than either were comfortable with. Both would apologize and assuredly _not_cry at finally seeing the other again.)

Both universes had S. Spencer opening a Psychic consulting agency with Gus. 

Both universes had everyone finding out that they were not psychic in ways outside of their control.

Both universes had S. Spencer’s with pasts that couldn’t quite stay in the past.


	2. There was a Crooked Man

“Gus, don’t be the raisins in trail mix. This bar is supposed to be amazing, and they have loaded-loaded fries. That’s double-loaded.” Shan offered. Gus sent her an unimpressed look.

“I have actual work to do, like for my actual job.” He turned back to his computer and started typing again.

Shan squinted at him. “You _never _want to do work. What are you hiding?”

“I _always_try to work; you never let me. Any time I try, you distract me.”

“I am very distracting, that checks out.” She waited for a comment of ‘you know that’s right,’ but Gus was focused on whatever spreadsheet he was working on. “Gus! Pay attention to me.”

“Shan, I have to fill out these forms by midnight Friday, and it is already Wednesday. I cannot go to the bar tonight or tomorrow night or maybe the night after that. Why don’t you meet Juliet there?”

Shan sighed dramatically. “Julies has a date with Tall-Pale-and-Eh from the art heist case. If I crash another one of their dates she may actually shoot me.” Not that she knew why. He was cute in a basic way but seemed to have the personality of a piece of white paper. 

Julies could do so much better but strangely didn’t appreciate Shan reminding her of that.

Shan was preparing to launch into an argument that would have definitely had Gus abandon the work to explore with her, but her phone vibrated. She very consciously didn’t react to the picture of her, and seven others squished together on a long bench, limbs jumbled together and everywhere while everyone beamed. It was one that she had hidden away on her phone and hadn’t seen it for years.

“Fine, be boring. If you decide to be exciting, text me. I will be at the bar mingling with beautiful people and eating double-loaded fries.” Shan offered. Gus just waved his hand, shooing her out of his office. She waited until she was out of sight before accepting the call. 

“What’s up doc?”

“Spencer, I’m in Santa Barbara for the day. We need to meet.” Ruth’s voice was as calm as she remembered. Shan leaned against the wall behind her. 

“Do you remember the smoothie place that we went to last time? Across from the park?” Sharn asked. Ruth gave a hum of agreement. “Meet there is fifteen?” 

“I’ll be there. See you soon, Spencer. Be safe.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Shan hung up her phone and slipped her phone into her back pocket. She waited for a moment before heading toward the staircase that was almost always empty. She needed to release some energy before she met with Ruth. 

Shan hadn’t seen the other woman in years, not since Ruth had accepted a job across the country. Both had taken the end of their partnership in different ways- Ruth had moved to work with various government agencies; Shan had worked for a circus for a moment before moving back home. 

It had been difficult to keep in touch as time kept passing and Shan had almost felt that that chapter of her life was finished and reduced to random texts on birthdays or holidays. She hadn’t talked to the others either- other than the occasional visit from Elle.

Everyone separated, and most tried to pretend that their time together had been a vague dream. Shan wondered if they had any better luck with that.

Seeing Ruth was like being kicked in the stomach. Judging by the expression on the other woman’s face, Ruth was feeling the same. 

“Hey Spencer, you look good.” Ruth pulled her into a brief hug. “I would ask what you’ve been doing, but the stories have even reached me. Didn’t know you were psychic.” 

“Didn’t I tell you? The spirits get a little confusing sometimes, and I forget who I’ve told.” Shan smiled innocently. Ruth rolled her eyes fondly. 

“Of course, dear. I hope you don’t mind, but I expressed a little bit of my own psychic ability, and we ordered you a pineapple smoothie.” Ruth looped an arm around Shans and pulled her to the back corner of the cafe where a figure was already sitting. 

“Let me guess; you brought Mr.FBI Official himself.” Shan flashed a smile at a mother who was watching her in concern. “Little less on the dragging, Ruthie. I forgot to grab my wheelies on the way out this morning.” 

Ruth slowed but continued to bring her to the table. “Max heard I was meeting you and insisted on tagging along. You know how lonely he gets just sitting in a hotel room between conference meetings.” Shan nodded as if understanding why a man, who had been promoted enough times that fieldwork was a distant memory, would suddenly decide to travel across the continent to go to an amateur detective’s conference. 

He didn’t have to network anymore- Max had enough connections to create a game of seven degrees. 

So apparently this meeting was very important indeed. 

Shan slid into the booth beside Ruth and smiled sharply at him. “You look as amazing as Leo Carrol in _Tarantula_.” 

Max reacted like he always did- a slight disapproving crease of his forehead and nose wrinkle. “Miss Spencer.” 

Shan leaned forward. “Come on, Max. I’ve told you that you can call me by my first name. I don’t mind.” She winked dramatically at him. Ruth twitched in amusement, but Max kept his expression unimpressed. 

Instead, he pulled a briefcase from beside him on the bench and laid it on the table. Showing he was still as paranoid as he was a little over a year and a half ago, Max entered some complicated code into the electronic pad and pressed his thumb into the fingerprint scanner. He didn’t speak but pulled out a manilla folder and slid it over to her. 

Shan opened it and immediately shut it again. The pictures on top were already seared into her brain; she had to fight down memories of peering down at people in similar erie poses in otherwise secure environments. 

She took a deep breath and looked Max in the eyes. He looked smug he had caused a genuine reaction. “What the fuck?” She hissed. 

Ruth elbowed her, apparently still trying to reign in other people’s language. Her nephew actually might be able to understand words at this point. “A copycat killer started the pattern again. A day after Edison was killed, a realtor found three bodies in one of his houses he was showing.” She sent Shan an apologetic look but reopened the files and laid the pictures out beside each other. 

One had a young woman sitting at a kitchen table with a mug in front of her. A newspaper was laid out on the table, and her head was posed to be looking down at it. Another photo showed a middle-aged man sitting in an office chair. He had a pair of headphones with a microphone on as if in a conference. A third picture had another woman standing stiffly by a washing machine. The door was open, and clothes were spilling out to give added drama to the scene. 

The people looked like Barbie dolls with no blemishes showing and Shan was sure that a thick layer of make-up was applied to everyone. Everything was just as perfect looking as it had been when Zachary Edison had performed the murders a year before. 

“How did he die?” Shan said, holding back a wince at how quiet her voice was. 

“He was attacked in jail, stabbed and left to die in the yard. They haven’t caught who stabbed him, but I don’t think that they’re looking that hard.” Ruth responded. 

He deserved worse.

Shan put the photos back and closed the file. “The copycat do everything the same?” Ruth nodded in accession. 

That explained why they were all wearing long sleeves.

She sighed. “Not that I’m not thrilled to be included in the plans, but what does this have to do with me? I don’t like being that henchman in Iron Man 3 who reluctantly works there.” 

Max pushed up his glasses. “The copycat maybe going after people who worked the case. We can not reveal any further information at this time, but we have some evidence that this is the case.” Shan was _so_tempted to point out the pun, but she decided against it. See, Gus, she did have tact. “We will be talking to the local precinct-”

“And I’m going to stop you right there. We do not need to talk to the police.”

“Shan,” Ruth broke in. “This copycat doesn’t hold back. It’s just like Edison.” She paused, eyes flickering to Max, before straightening slightly grabbing her hand. “Shan, the copycat killed David. His girlfriend found him in their house.” Shan leaned back in shock. 

There had been two groups focused on the case. Shan had been with Martha and Charlie; David had worked with Ruth and Elle. The six of them had become close while working late nights and sharing terrible Indian food. They had gotten involved in each other’s lives. 

Even after, Shan had made sure to keep checking in on everyone who survived through social media even though talking was too much. 

“When’s the funeral?” 

“Yesterday.” She had missed it then. 

Shan closed her eyes and rolled her shoulders to try to relax a tad. “Okay. Alright then, well, I appreciate the warning. I will make sure to keep an eye out for any threats. Thanks.” She moved to get up, but Ruth grabbed tightened her grip on Shan’s hand. 

“Shan, you need protection. Even if it’s just letting the local police know, you need to have someone aware of the threat against you.” Ruth insisted.

Shan paused. “Hang on a second.” She swiped into her phone and pulled up her past messages. Elle was set to visit during the week; maybe she could move the visit up two days. The second after she sent the question, the other girl texted back smiling emojis and a comment that she would check with her boss. “Okay, Elle is checking flights and is coming to visit tomorrow. I won’t be alone.” 

Max coughed grumpily. “Good, then Ruth can stay and keep both of you safe. Let you three catch up.”

“Sir!”

“I can make my own play-dates, thank you.” Both women talked at the same time. Max ignored Shan and instead only addressed Ruth. 

“I’ll arrange everything- it won’t count as PTO. Safety in numbers and all that. Not to mention that you’re the one who is licensed to carry a concealed weapon.” Max announced. He ignored the rest of their protests and instead stood up from the booth and walked away. 

Shan snorted. “Well, at least he never changed. Still a demanding asshole.” Ruth hummed disapprovingly but didn’t disagree.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't know if y'all are at all interested in this, but it's been bugging me for a long minute. I can't promise consistent updates (hence the new series) but hope you enjoy it all the same!  
Let me know what you think!!


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